he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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