Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Sext me about skeletons
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
