I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
