Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
