I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
