I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
