i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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