I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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