sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
