you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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