Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
