They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
