She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
