Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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