i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You smell like stripper and shame
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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