Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
