He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize
