Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
