Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize