There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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