so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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