are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
