i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize