Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize