That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
