Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
