I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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