And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
