He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize