yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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