I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
