doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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