Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I will die if light touches me.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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