Betty ford says i'm here all night
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
