She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
