i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
