Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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