Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
