My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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