I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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