So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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