You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
