Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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