i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
