are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize