i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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