this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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