I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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