cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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