This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
