At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
