it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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