They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
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So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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