I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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