sorry about calling you the devil all night.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
