Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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