So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize