You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
