I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
