Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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