i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
