Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
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the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
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Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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