he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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