Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
