I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize