either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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