Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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