where am i from again
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
