I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
