It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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